Day 9 - Friends

Im sitting this morning looking at little Alita whilst she and her friend is video calling each other. They are on it permanently. Even doing more private things like going to the toilet is not sacred between the two of them. She puts her down on the vanity to continue the conversation without stopping for one minute.

Can you remember your school friends. Laying in the hallway on the ground with the phone glued to your ear. Sometimes you will pull the cord to the limit to get away from any ears whilst whispering you secrets into the handset. Sometimes your mom will cut in by picking up the other phone in the house, asking you to put down the phone because she is expecting a call. Ahh the good old days.

How amazing is technology. It brings people together. Even when you don’t want to be close to anyone. If we had this when we were younger our life at school would have been a lot harder.

There would have been proof of our dumb moments and screenshot of our most embarrassing ones.

Downstairs the 3 musketeers are somewhere downstairs playing rap music. Pen tapping to the beat. Hubby closed all the doors between us and them. Luckily we cannot hear the words anymore but the deep doom doom doom persist.

These 3 are in different high schools. They have their own interests that they don’t share and some that they do. Nevertheless there is an unbreakable bond. I suspect that they will be lifelong friends. Not always talking but a phone call away if needed.

Hubby and I are hermits. We live for each other and only have a couple of friends. I have some that I see every now and again but most of my friends live abroad. When we meet up it feels like no time have passed and we continue where we left off.

Hubby has one best friend , his partner. We always joke that myself and his wife are married are married to 2 men.

During this lock down period fake friends fall away. You don’t get phone calls asking for favours and you don’t make calls out of duty.

I came across the following information

There are 4 type of friends:  

• The prophet. This person calls us to look at who is pulling our strings in life. This is the wise one that helps you to keep to the path.
• The cheerleader : This is the supportive, sympathetic, calming voice that we love to hear over the phone when the day has been a disaster. Furthermore, the cheerleader is a great partner and bookend to the prophet; we need both. If we just have prophets, we will burnout. On the other hand, if we simply have cheerleaders we won’t grow or challenge ourselves appropriately.
• The harasser. This person has a great sense of humorand helps up regain perspective when we have begun to take ourselves too seriously. This is easy to do, especially when we face challenges as a family member, at the office, or in some aspect of our lives. When we cannot laugh at ourselves, we run the danger of becoming rigid and breaking when the winds of change blow. This may turn out to be a problem for us and those around us who suffer for our lack of ease and flexibility. 
• The inspirational or spiritual friend.

This person calls on us to be all that we can be without embarrassing us that we are where we are at this point. What a dull life it would be without such a voice calling us to go further and deeper in life. 

Then you get the fake friends.

• These friends are around in good fun times. They are up for a laugh but they run at the first sign of hardship
• The users. This group only knows you when they need something. They manipulate you in doing what they need and guilt trip you if you don’t want to help.
• The fillers. They use you as the standby when they have nothing to do. They drop in for coffee when they are bored.
• This group I don’t understand. They are friends with everyone but are loyal and true to none. You are there for their entertainment and you are talked about, pulled apart and put back together.

When you have nothing to give and nowhere to go the calls quiet down. Your eyes open and you truly see who is in it for the right reasons.

I decided that after this lockdown I will start identifying the different personalities and only spend my time and energy on the ones that are truly invested in our friendships.

May you also clear your friendship cupboard and start on a clean slate. I promise you!!! Your burden becomes much lighter.